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napoleoninraggs' LiveJournal:
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| Thursday, February 1st, 2007 | | 1:37 pm |
To Sleep To Dream...
I've barely slept in three days. I'm in this big quandary of sleep. I can't sleep at night, but I'm exhuasted during the day. And then when I do sleep at night, usually around 7 am or so when I can actually fall asleep, I sleep all day. So I go in this crazy fucked up cycle (or lack of cycle) involving oversleeping and undersleeping, all mixed in with a large dose of stimulants to keep me pumping during the day (they're persrcribed...don't get your shorts in a bunch) And then when I'm up at night I am too tired to concentrate and do work, but not sleepy enough to actually sleep. Then I sleep through my classes during the day, or sleept through time which should be spent working. And then having no energy makes it really hard to perform at rugby practice... *sigh* I need a remote that controls my sleep. I've also barely eaten in a few days. I attribute that to a virus...but it's still annoying having no appetite. I'm quite the pity party! On the plus side: I just found a really cool book at the bookstore called "Clay" about the history of clay and people's relationship with it over time. My parents even agreed to pay for it! It doesn't get better. I also have a lot of rugby song verses brewing for the party tonight. I hope I can make it, being sick and sleep deprived. But I think I'll brave it. Gotta bust out these verses! I have rhymes for panella...glerum...julia...breanna...kei sh...and all depraved and disgusting of course. I mentioned to my mom (I called her when I couldn't sleep last night to commiserate -- she is up late often herself) that I was at least getting some rugby song writing done. She was like, ooh, you should email them to us! And I was like, um, mom, I don't think you want to hear these. I often wish I could hit my Dad up for help sometimes though when I'm stuck on a verse because he's a really good song writer. But I don't think he'd really approve, so to speak. I did sing him whores and housewives one time though, and he laughed in spite of himself, but then was like, that's INAPPROPRIATE (point being?). As you can see...I take my rugby song writing very seriously :) Oh! Speaking of which, here's a little rugby ditty I wrote. Sing to the tune of the verse for Aeroplane by The Red Hot Chili Peppers I like pleasure spiked with pain and rugby is my favorite game it's my favorite game pleasure spiked with pain those bloody ruggers always spiked with pain A little dark sounding...but I think it's funny (it's not supposed to be dark sounding...that's just how the real song goes..."pleasure spiked with pain" that is) On a side note, TRCH are really good in concert. I saw them in Portland back in the day with my lovelies, Jade and Ariel. Good times. Seems so long ago. I guess that's because it was! Damnit. I have class in an hour, and errands to do between now and then. I think I'll just keep rambling on Live Journal instead of doing the errands...because damn once I sit in my chair I don't want to get up. Okay that's about it for now! Current Mood:  contemplativeCurrent Music: Led Zeppelin | | Monday, November 6th, 2006 | | 3:31 pm |
Oh you better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone...
Rachel better start swimming or she'll sink like a stone, especially because she did shitty on her last midterm and essay. It's no one's fault but mine. I didn't study enough or spend enough time on the paper. I didn't expect good grades, but I'm for whatever reason ridiculously frustrated with myself for getting them. I can't seem to get motivated! I'm being a slacker, and I'm reaping the damn consequences. I'm tired. Maybe I should stop sleeping all the time. That might help. Just maybe. Current Mood:  crappyCurrent Music: Law and Order...Dun Dun | | Tuesday, September 26th, 2006 | | 1:47 pm |
They were digging a new foundation in Manhatten....
They say that alchoholics, are always alchoholics, even if they're dry as my lips, for years. Even if they're stranded on a small desert island, with no place in 2000 miles to buy beer, and I wonder, are they different, are they different, have they changed, what they're about. Or are they just still liars, with nothing to lie about. So I'm in neuroscience right now and I'm really not paying attention, which is a shame considering I have a test next week. What the fuck is a meningi, anyways? And why do I care? I'm gonna be a ceramics professor, bitches. I bruised my sternum and possibly ribs, so I hurt like a bitch. Props to thalia for being so badass and not expressing pain with her bruised ribs, cause holy shit this hurts! Anyways, I won't be practicing for a little while which is great because a. I don't have to do fitness, b. I don't have to do fitness, and c. I have time for homework, but is TERRRRRIBBBBBLLLEEE because a. I don't get to tackle peopole and b. I don't get to hit people on other occasions, including the playing of games. And we actually have a competitive game this weekend! But it's not like I play A side. (Not complaining -- don't worry!) That's all for now Current Mood:  weirdCurrent Music: the soothing sounds of Dr. John Stein | | Saturday, August 26th, 2006 | | 4:16 pm |
She Dreams in Color She Dreams in Red
Yeah you know grey is my favorite color I felt so symbolic Yesterday If I knew Picasso I'd find myself a grey guitar and play So it's even fewer days until Providence, and I'm starting to feel the pressure of moving, packing, financial crap, and starting anew in a new place at a new school. I have a few months under my belt at Brown, but I still have the jittery- butterflies-in-my-stomach-freshman feeling. I just really hope everything works out well. Current Mood:  distressedCurrent Music: Counting Crows | | Thursday, August 24th, 2006 | | 12:46 am |
| | Tuesday, August 15th, 2006 | | 4:40 pm |
| | 4:31 pm |
Disarm you with a smile...
So I'm back in Corvallis after a very lovely summer in Portland. I worked at Vespa Portland, which was rather fun (for a job) and made some good money. I also got an awesome new scooter named Bella (a lovely vintage green granturismo) at an awesome price (see picture). It was great hanging out with Arielle, Jade, Jonathan, Auroroa, Dan, Graham, Darren, Margaret, and compnany. I miss it now, and I'll continue to miss it, I'm sure. So, now I'm back in Corvallis and it sucks, ROYALLY! I have very little to do. In fact, so little that I actually went to the library and got books to do RESEARCH (it's summer for God's sake!) on an op ed article about Israel. It'll be another glorious chapter in the book of Rachel's Rants, and I'll surely force you to read it at a later date. I got some books at Borders, too! I got a poker book called Small Stakes Hold 'Em, reccomended by Graham, so that hopefully I'll suck a little less profoundly and not squander away my paychecks. It's really complicated though!! It's hard for me to understand it, which makes me worry that it will be even harder to understand my neuroscience text book once I get back to Brown. In short, I'm not really at my cognitive peak right now, so I'm worried. I also got another Dan Brown book called Deception Point. It's hilarious looking -- but I'm sure it's not meant to be funny. It's hilarious in that it looks EXACTLY like his other books. A smart heroine teams up with a scholar to solve a scientific mystery! But I figure, I loved his other books, so I'll probably love more of the same. Anyways. Current Mood:  curiousCurrent Music: Auqa Lung | | Tuesday, July 18th, 2006 | | 1:51 am |
Stuff and stuff and stuff
( Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
| ✓ I miss somebody right now. (Sadly) |
× I don't watch much TV these days. (I live in NoPo and don't have transportation. What do you think?) |
✓ I own lots of books. |
| × I wear glasses or contact lenses. |
✓ I love to play video games. |
✓ I've tried marijuana. |
| ✓ I've watched porn movies. (Have I ever) |
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. |
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. |
| ✓ I curse sometimes. (Sometimes! Ha!) |
✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (for the better) |
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. |
( it goes on... ) Current Mood:  apathetic | | Friday, June 2nd, 2006 | | 7:00 pm |
Jane says I aint never been in love She don’t know what it is She only knows when someone wants her I wonder if he wants me I only know they want me She gets mad And she starts to cry She takes a swing, but She can’t hit She don’t mean no harm She just don’t know Don’t know Don’t know What else to do about it Jane says Jane says | | Tuesday, May 30th, 2006 | | 9:13 pm |
That Yogurt Hill
WORK I’m at work at Yorgurt Hill and just cannot WAIT for this job to be over. I have to close today and tomorrow, but other than that, I think I’m home free. I actually had to help my boss clean her house yesterday, along with the rest of the staff. It was nice to meet the other girls who work here (we don’t work shifts together), and we could bond over how utterly crappy it was to have to CLEAN HER HOUSE. But my god, we had to CLEAN HER HOUSE. And for minimum wage! I wasn’t aware that was part of my job description. But oh well. I guess that’s part of working for a small family business. I also put my skills to the test and helped her refinish and reupholster her dining chairs. That was a lot of work. Perhaps she’ll pay me a higher wage for those hours. But of course I can’t bring myself to ask for it. For as confrontational of a person as I am, I simply cannot say no to this woman. One time she called, and as I was answering the phone I thought to myself “please don’t ask me to come in tonight. It’s my night off. I’m exhausted. I’m totally saying no if she asks me to come in. Please don’t ask me to work tonight.” 2 minutes later the words “I’ll be there in ten minutes” were coming out of my mouth. HOW DOES SHE DO IT TO ME? SHE HAS SUPER POWERSSS!!! MYSPACE I have entered the world of the myspace freaks! Yes! It is true! So check her out. (www.myspace.com/rachelmckenna (arent’ I creative). ARM I HATE MY FUCKING ARM! AND WRIST! AND HAND! AND SHOULDER! AND KNEE! AND ANKLE! AND OTHER WRIST! Nothing on me works! Worst body ever. Current Mood:  crankyCurrent Music: Radio | | 11:54 am |
Is it time for SOA?
I have a confession to make. I have become addicted to The Young and the Restless. Is it time for Soap Operas Anonymous? It all started innocently. It follows The Price is Right, so it was only natural to keep watching tv and see the show. Soon, my casual viewing experience became a regular part of my morning! Then, it became an addiction. I knew it was official when I was in the check out line at Fred Meyers when I saw a copy of Soap Opera Digest that said "PHYLISS: PREGNANT," and I thought *gasp!!!* "PHYLISS PREGNANT WITH NICKS BABY?!?! WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG FOR SHARRON AND NICK'S AILING MARRIAGE!!" And then I knew I was hooked. Alas!!! Current Mood:  chipperCurrent Music: THE SOUNDTRACK OF THE LIVES OF THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS | | Wednesday, May 24th, 2006 | | 12:24 pm |
Stuff and Stuff and Stuff
Graham’s drunk. Jade’s drunk (happy birthday Jade!). I’m not drunk!! I should be! But I’m at work, killing time until I can go sweep the floors (can you feel the excitement?!) COUNTDOWN TO PORTLAND I’m going to be in Portland this summer. Moving day is June 3rd. So watch out tiger, here I come. I’m either living in Micah and company’s basement, or in this really nice place in North Portland. Or somewhere else, possibly, depending on what comes up. I’m really excited! There’s also a chance I’ll be there for the whole year (if I don’t get back into Brown). Part of me feels like I’m not ready to go back and that I should stay in Portland for the year, but I don’t know if that’s smart thinking or cold feet. Either way, I find out later this week if I even have the option of going back to Brown this fall. I’m nervous! I’m trying to get a gig at the Vespa Dealership in town, which would be awesome. I’d get to sell and put together Vespas. I have a feeling there’s some paperwork to be done as well though. They keep alluding to that. BUT I might not get the job if I’m only there for 2 months, which is part of what makes me think it’d be cool to stay all year. But a year is a long time, and do I really want to be a 21 year old sophomore? Current Mood: contemplativeCurrent Music: Modest Mouse | | Saturday, May 13th, 2006 | | 10:47 am |
Oliver's Song!
If I had a cow, I'd shake it in the mor-or-ning, I'd shake it in the evening, All over this land! I'd shake out danger! I'd shake out war-ar-ning I'd shake out the love between, my brothers and my sisters, All over this land! If I had a bone, I'd chew it in the mor-or-ning I'd chew it in the evening, All over this land! I'd chew out danger! I'd chew out war-ar-ning I'd chew out the love between, my brothers and my sisters, All over this land! If I had a watermelon, I'd destroy it in the mor-or-ning, I'd destroy it in the evening, All over this land! I'd destroy out danger! I'd destroy out war-ar-ning I'd destroy out the love between, my brothers and my sisters, All over this land! Well I've got a cow And I've got a bone And I've got a watermelon to destroy! All over this land! It's the cow of justice! It's the bone of fre-e-dom, It's the watermelon of love between, my brothers and my sisters, All over this land Current Mood: crazyCurrent Music: Why, Oliver's Song! | | Friday, May 12th, 2006 | | 1:48 pm |
It's been jolly
It's been jolly. A jolly good time since I last updated you. So here's an update for those with enough time on their hands to actually read this. Actually it's been a pretty lousy time, but "it's been jolly" is a more inviting title than "it's been lousy." Oh SNAP. I snaked you into reading this with my alluring title. How do you feel now, yo? I got my Antonio back yesterday. He has a few scratches and needs a bath but is in overall good health. I took him back on H-99, and it was a nice ride. The funnest thing is waving to other motorcyclists. Ah, such an exestencial bond we have. I'm hopefully going to be living in Portland this summer, possibly with Arielle and Posse. It means either selling my beloved Antonio (see above) or remaining in credit card debt, but I've come up with a very good way to rationalize either. Hapiness is more important than scooters (*gasp*) or money. And I'm not happy here. Maybe if that putz from Louisiana ever pays me the money she owes me for the car I sold her than I can avoid both. But we alllll know that's not happening. I've been spending my hours watching endless episodes of Sex and the City and secretly wishing that was my life. Hip, fun, in the city, guys, friends, sex, careers, general happiness. I've been having more problems with my website than you can shake a very problematic stick at. My account got suspended after I was being too successful and got too many orders in one day. The guy handling my account still won't call me back to release the funds owed to me, which means I've been having to put all of the orders on my credit card and am going to have to pay a big ass interest charge on the money this month. I'm having so many logistical and delivery problems, not to mention a bunch of bratty angry customers screaming down my throat. I'm not sure it's worth it an am actually considering quitting the business. I've profited about $500, that may be enough to call it quits. But we'll see. If I can get my account approved (necessary here) for a higher amount I may be able to continue on. Bum bum. So I officially broke up with Graham. Turns out he's been seeing another girl for about a month and didn't tell me. We were in an "open relationship," so we could see other people but he was supposed to tell me when he met someone, which he didn't. So needless to say I feel pretty hurt and strung-along, and angry about sitting by the phone for the past month waiting for a call, being told he still wanted to see me when in reality he didn't. He told me after Arielle, my best friend, who is good friends with Graham, which is of course now awkward, started throwing lit matches at him. I wonder how long it would have taken had he not been in danger of lighting on fire. I never really intended on seeing other people. I pursued it a little bit, without much avail, but wasn't really motivated to or really even that interested. I'm just not really that kind of girl. Ironically, Graham and the new girl had a lovely picnic the other day. Ironic being the number of times I suggested that we have a picnic. According to my sources, I think this is a case of Hubble and the Katie girls. So all I have to say to you is this. You're girl is lovely, Hubble. (Watch more Sex and the City if you don't get that). And that is all. Current Mood: gloomyCurrent Music: None | | Saturday, April 8th, 2006 | | 9:19 am |
*Sigh*
Maybe I don't hate all boys but I certainly don't understand them. We live in different zip codes my friend. Current Mood: crushedCurrent Music: Ani Difranco | | 12:33 am |
That's right, you.
That's right, I hate you. I hate all boys. The only boy I like is a 11-month-old chiuaua-dauchshaund named Oliver. And a now deceased 15-and-3/4-year-old carin terrier-dauchshaund named Nar. Yes, his name was Nar. Anyways, back to my point, I hate the entire male gender. Unless you answer to Olivernicus or Mr. Nar. Otherwise, you're on Rachel's gradually growing "I hate you" list.  Current Mood: crappyCurrent Music: Ani Difranco | | Monday, March 27th, 2006 | | 3:07 pm |
Oh, Bobby D....
THE PUMP DON'T WORK CAUSE THE VANDALS TOOK THE HANDLES. That is all. Current Mood: creativeCurrent Music: BOBBY D | | Saturday, March 25th, 2006 | | 11:04 am |
A C-Town Weekend
No portland for this weekend. I think I'll spend some time hanging out with J TO THE ADE and other cohorts and working a lot on my website. But being home this weekend is making me reflect on last weekend, and how I didn't really write about it or appreciate it. It was so cool! I was up in Portland the whole weekend. A nice taste of independence. On Friday and part of Saturday I hung out with Graham. Saturday evening I went out to dinner at a GREAT southern restaurant that Micah works at with REL and family, which was really fun. Then we went to a little birthday shindig, which we both agreed was a little lame. But it was fun to get out and really fun to chat and catch up. That has been overdue. Then on Sunday I went to the peacemarch with my dad, which was a blast. First, though, I met some cool people in Pioneer Square bustin out some Hackey Sack. I need to get a new one and fine tune the ol' skills. Then they went to the march too, but I was with my dad and the labor/union contingent, so I marched with them. It was really fun. We marched from a park downtown to the waterfront, chanting and everything. Then during the rally I of course got hungry, so that took priority over that whole speaker thing. Then the real march began. I swear, it was right out of New Orleans!! The part we were in had this incredible band, and people in costumes, and on stilts. We were all dancing, and bouncing around. It was really fun. I bet there were some N'awlins refugees there, I could just feel it. Anyways, today will be a chill day. Maybe I'll read or watch a movie, get a few errands done or something. I also think I'm coming down with something, so I'm looking forward to the opportunity to chill. Not that I don't get it all the time anyways. Hehehe. | | Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006 | | 6:47 pm |
Shelter From the Storm
Cause in another lifetime, one of toil in blood, when blackness was a virtue, and the road was full of mud. I come in from the wilderness, a creature void of form. Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelter From the Storm. If I pass this way again you can rest assured, I'll always do my best for her, on that I give my word. In a world of steel and death of men who are fighting to be warm. Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelther From the Storm. Not a word was spoke between us, there was no risk involved. Nothing up till that point, had even been resolved. Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm. Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelter From the Storm I was burned out from exhaustion, burried in the hail. Poisened in the bushes, and blown out on the trail. Hunted like a crocidile, ravaged in the corn. Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelter From the Storm Suddenly I turned around, and she was standing there. With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair. She walked up to me so gracefully, and took my crown of thorns. Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelter From the Storm. Now the bonds are broken, but they can be retied. By one more journey to the woods, the holes where spirits hide. It's a never ending battle, for a piece that's always torn. Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelter From the Storm. Well the deputy walks on hot nails, and the preacher rides a mount. But nothing really matters much, it's doom alone that counts. And the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a futile horn. Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelter From the Storm. Well I've heard newborn babies crying like a moaning dove. And old men with broken teeth stranded without love. Do I understand your question man, is it hopeless and forlorn? Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelter From the Storm. And now there's a wall between us, something there's been lost. I took to much for granted, I got my signals crossed. And just to think it all again, and none of it for more. Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelter From the Storm. In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes. I buggin for salvation, inject, give me a legal dose. I offered up my innocence, got repaid with scorn. Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelter From the Storm Well I'm living in a foriegn country, but I'm bound to cross the line. Beauty walks on a razor's edge, someday I'll make it mine. If I could only turn back the clocks to when god and her were born. Come in, she said, I'll give ya, Shelter From the Storm. Current Mood: blankCurrent Music: Bob Dylan | | Monday, March 20th, 2006 | | 10:34 pm |
Crucify the insincere tonight
What if no ones watching? What if no ones watching? *Sigh* It's the end of another long basically wasted day in which I accomplished very little. Went to a doctors appointment, made some phone calls, beat my dad at Soul Caliber. Those are the mighty and triumphant feats of my day. Congrats Rachel. Anyways, the weekend was cool. Went up to Portland. Again, would definitely dig being on my own up there this summer. But alas. I think I will sign up for a class at OSU for the spring though. Sorry, this is really boring. It's been almost 3 weeks in the sling so I can go back to driving and working soon! Yay! More nights of sweeping floors and getting NO TIPS!! People just don't appreciate frozen yogurt service these days. Those crazy kids. No, but really, I'm seriously going to chop off the heads of the couple that comes in on Banana Split Mondays 10 minutes before closing wanting specialized banana splits and then not giving me a tip at all. They'll rue the day! |
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